Holiday Rules for Dogs

Important Rules to remember during the holiday season

The holiday season can be a very strange time when you’re a dog.  People are decorating their houses with lights, humans put trees in the house and put lights on those too, the humans wear ugly sweaters, they make huge feasts that we’re not allowed to snack on, the list goes on and on… and apparently some fat guy checks that list twice.  Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual so remember to remind them that petting you helps to relieve some stress.  They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours. They also wrap these said gifts with paper, make a note that you’re not supposed to rip the paper off these gifts.  Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you.  They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how dogs look with fake antlers.  Crazy.  However if they put bells or sweaters on you, well you’re going to need to sit down and have a talk with your human. 

The Christmas Tree: 

They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations.  Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so here are some things canines need to know:

· Don't pee on the tree.

· Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree.

· Mind your tail when you are near the tree.

· Don’t eat those fun looking objects on the tree, apparently they’re not edible.

· The tree is unfortunately not meant for you to rub up on.  Seriously who puts a tree in the house?

· If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open.  Just keep saying the mantra, “I will not eat gifts, I will not eat gifts.”

· Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.  I once saw in a movie how that didn’t end well for a cat. 

Discretion:

Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on the part of we dogs:

· Not all strangers appreciate kisses.  We need to talk to our owners about these people, maybe they need new friends.

· Do not eat off the buffet table, apparently that’s frowned upon. 

· Beg for goodies by all means but do it........ subtly.  Use those puppy dog eyes, don’t nonchalantly take a snack from a plate. 

· Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa.  Tis the season for sharing!

· Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach.  Those humans are crazy, who know what they’re drinking.

Manners:

Likewise, your humans may take you visiting at Christmas.  Here your manners will also be important:

· Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house.  Remember you’re a guest.

· Tolerate children.  I know this can be hard when they’re grabbing your ears and your tails.  But I promise your human will reward you for your good behavior. 

· Turn on your charm big time.

· A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.  Do not bite him.  He brings goodies, and if you’re lucky he might even share his midnight snacks with you.